How to recognise separation-related problems in dogs, why they happen, gentle step-by-step training, what not to do, when to involve a vet or qualified behaviourist, and practical support when you have to go out.
Some dogs become distressed when left alone. Separation-related behaviour is common and can be upsetting for dog and owner. The good news is that it can usually be improved with patient, gradual training and the right support.
Signs to look for
- barking, howling or whining when left;
- destructive behaviour, especially near doors and windows;
- toileting indoors when the dog is otherwise house-trained;
- pacing, panting, drooling or trying to escape;
- following you from room to room and becoming anxious as you prepare to leave.
A pet camera or recording can show what happens when you're out. Neighbours may also mention noise.
Rule out other causes
See your vet first. Pain, urinary problems, cognitive changes in older dogs and other medical issues can cause similar behaviour. Your vet can also discuss whether medication might support a training plan in some cases.
Why it happens?
Causes vary: a change in routine, such as returning to the office after working from home, moving house, a new family member, rehoming, or a frightening experience while alone. Some dogs have never learned to be comfortable alone. It isn't spite or bad behaviour.
What helps?
Build up time alone gradually
- Start with very short absences, such as stepping into another room for a few seconds, and return before your dog becomes anxious.
- Gradually increase the time, over days or weeks, only as your dog stays relaxed.
- Progress to leaving the house briefly, then for longer.
Going too fast is the most common reason training fails. Keep absences below the point where your dog gets upset.
Make cues less predictable
Many dogs get anxious when they see keys, shoes or coats. Pick these up at random times without leaving, so they lose their meaning.
Create a safe space
A comfortable area with a bed, water and something to chew can help. Some dogs like a crate, others find it stressful: watch your dog's response.
Provide enrichment
A long-lasting chew or food puzzle when you leave can create a positive association. Make sure your dog has had exercise and mental stimulation beforehand.
Keep greetings calm
Low-key departures and returns help prevent big emotional swings.
What not to do?
- Don't punish your dog for things that happened while you were out. It increases anxiety and doesn't teach them anything.
- Don't leave a distressed dog for long periods while training; arrange cover.
- Avoid devices that punish barking, such as spray or electric shock collars, which can make anxiety worse. Electric shock collars are banned in Wales. A ban planned for England in 2024 was never brought into force, but vets and welfare charities strongly advise against them.
Support while you train
- a trusted friend, family member or neighbour to stay with your dog;
- a reputable dog walker or day care, if your dog enjoys it;
- taking your dog with you, where possible;
- adjusting your schedule temporarily.
Getting professional help
If problems are severe or not improving, ask your vet for a referral to a qualified behaviourist. Training and behaviour is unregulated in the UK, so look for someone on the Animal Behaviour and Training Council (ABTC) register, who uses reward-based methods.
Frequently asked questions
Will getting a second dog help?
Not usually. Most dogs with separation problems are anxious about being apart from their people, not just being alone.
How long does it take?
Weeks to months, depending on the dog. Progress is rarely in a straight line.
Sources and further reading
- Dogs Trust: Dog advice
- RSPCA: Separation-related behaviour
- Animal Behaviour and Training Council
- PDSA: Pet health hub
Facts checked on 20 October 2026. Spotted an error? Tell us and we will correct it.